Today I spoke with my mother. I told her that the only permanence in life is constant change. That the only thing that is certain is that nothing is certain. I said I look at change in a particular way. I told her a story. I said, it was like last summer. Standing barefoot in gym shorts and a bra on the warm ebony rocks hovering over Lake Superior in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I looked out across the water, disappearing into the distance, wondering what was just beyond sight. Then I jumped. In that moment I did not know that I was plummeting 40 plus feet into just above freezing water, I just knew it was coming. That's it. I knew nothing. I knew not what to expect, I knew not how to prepare for it, I just faced it. Head on, and feet first. That's how I see change, and that's how I confront it.
Today I spoke with my mother. She too, had a story for me. She told me a story of a three year old little girl in a pink bikini climbing a 12 foot ladder. In the summer heat of '93, the blonde pony tail of that little girl bounced as she trotted to the lip of a wobbling board. Then, she jumped. My mother swears every person surrounding the mass of water below the girl gasped, and that her heart stopped for a minute. That was, until the little girl popped up from the water and swam away. Back on solid ground, all she said was "I want to do that again!" I guess I've always taken to the unknown head on, and feet first.
My mother said I was an old soul, and that I was brave. I said I'm living the only way I know how. I just close my eyes, hold my breath, and never look back. Because once in mid-air, there is no going back.
I may not be living life the right way, but then again, who knows what way that is. I said to my mother, "true knowledge exists in knowing we know nothing" -Socrates. She just smiled and agreed. I just take life head on, and feet first.
