Sunday, December 30, 2012

About You

I can't let you know how much I think about you. About stealing kisses from you when you hide that smile. About watching the sun sneak in through the windows to cover your back in the morning while you sleep. About quiet moments that only we can explain. About my fingers tangled in your hair and your palm on my cheek. About the steady beating of two hearts in different worlds. About the ease of wanting you. About the coming and going of these moments. About the impossibility of these moments. I can't let you know how much I think. Not about this, not about you. 

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Dud

I burnt the wick of every last nerve tonight on the way. My lungs were filled with more than just smoke as I choked on my words. Throwing firecracker duds. Something in my chest aches and sparks but I don't know what. It's not heartache, not sadness. Maybe I'm hurting to live again. I can't really tell. I can't really feel. Not that I don't know how to, its just that I won't allow myself to. I almost turned around, waiting for that firecracker pop. I'm terrified that dud will pop. I think that dud did pop. I sat in silence tonight heading back. My lungs didn't feel as full but my ears couldn't hear anymore. The blistering ringing of that firecracker pop. In that moment I felt as if my ears were bleeding, and I couldn't hear you anymore.